Part four IS HERE.

AFTER THE DISASTER THAT WAS SEPTEMBER, October started on another low as a 1-1 draw at home to Oldham dropped Rovers into the relegation zone. Having not really acquired a taste for scuttling around in the basement portion of any given League since John Ryan bought the club for a princley sum of £1, thankfully, we were soon out of there.

Fans heralded a first win in eight matches, at Cheltenham by two goals to nil, and the team followed this up with an insipid display but nontheless valuable further three points via a 1-0 home triumph over Chesterfield. In between, we moved into the next round of the JPT via a 2-1 victory at Huddersfield, before rounding off the end of the month by losing to Bristol City, and exiting the League Cup via penalties at a Wycombe Wanderers side who would go on to progress all the way to the semi-finals of the competition. Impressions among most and sundry were that a rather mediocre season was on the horizon.

Meanwhile, up the A1 Dave Penney was appointed as manager of Darlington - surprising many Rovers fans whom had presumed he would move on at least to a club at the same level as Rovers, if not to a Championship side.

November came and went with similar bland fayre on offer. Quiet progress in the JPT was secured via a win at Hartlepool, however fans’ ire was raised by a diabolical draw at home to relegation threatened Leyton Orient, pushing Scunthorpe away for the worst footballing performance in the world … ever. Principally, we were narrow in formation, with little clue how to unlock a defence, and seemed happy to make substitutions with the basis of not losing a match rather than going out to win it.

Things came to a head away at Mansfield in the FA Cup when, with Rovers trailing 1-0 and looking thoroughly uninspired, a section of the large away support began to chant “Fuck off back to Bournemouth” towards the Rovers dug-out.

Still, Brian Stock equalised deep into stoppage time, prompting a change in tack from said Rovers followers who now bellowed “Rovers Til I Die” at the top of their raspy voices. Ah, the fickleness of football eh?

We also gave Accrington Stanley the absolute worst 2-0 beating of their lives (probably), to ascend regally into the Northern S/F of the Johnstone Paints Trophy, which, having started out as a bit of a joke, had now assumed the role of “a very serious competition indeed, ta very much”.

Ironically enough, that S/F draw would pit us against Dave Penney’s new charges, Darlington, in one of the first games at our palacial new Keepmoat Stadium. And there was still the grand farewell to Belle Vue to come, as we committed her to the ashes of a bygone era.

Part three IS HERE.

WHEN THE ROVERS SUPPORTERS were drawing up a dream or wish-list of managerial candidates to take the reins of the by now struggling pack mule-esque Doncaster Rovers, it would be hard to believe that Sean O’Driscoll of AFC Bournemouth appeared anywhere within anyone’s top one hundred. Ever.

However, while fans across the town and beyond were pondering the relative merits of appointing Kevin Keegan - “ah, but there’d be plenty of goals y’see” - if you believe John Ryan, he already had his number one target lined up in the cross-hairs, and pretty much had done since his side inflicted Dave Penney’s most humbling experience as a Football League manager a little under two years previous.

Sean O’Driscoll oversaw that 5-0 drubbing apportioned to Rovers in September 2004 where Dave Penney infamously strung four central defenders across the backline against one of the smaller sides in the Division and watched on for the first 20 minutes as his team were predictably and repeatedly torn to shreds down the flanks, copping for 3 of the 5 goals in the process.

Evidently John Ryan had remembered this very public exposure of our then managers tactical acumen, the approach was made to Bournemouth, where O’Driscoll still plied his trade, the offer accepted and compensation agreed. On September 11 2006 O’Driscoll was officially confirmed at a press conference as the new manager of Doncaster Rovers Football Club.

Sean wasted little time in getting his feet under the table. His assistant manager at Bournemouth - Richard O’Kelly - moved up North with him, and ex-Bournemouth midfielder Brian Stock was signed on loan from Preston North End.

The first few matches under the new broom did little to dispel the general air of deflation surrounding the Rovers support, who had been led on to believe that John Ryan had serious ambitions to lure Kevin Keegan to the club, when in fact O’Driscoll was the de-facto target from the start. Drab goal-less draws at Huddersfield and Rotherham were followed by, er, a drab goal-less draw at home to Blackpool. Stirring stuff.

About the most exciting thing to happen was some Rotherham supporting amoeba contributing a baseless attack on Doncaster Rovers supporters via the medium of their matchday programme. Thoroughly shameful - Donblog irrefutably rejects all types of sweeping generalisations against any body of supporters, anywhere. Particularly those made by mumble-mouth Miller muthafuckers.

Interest was briefly piqued by a 3-3 home draw against Bradford City, whereby Rovers came back from two Dean “Conniving fuck” Windass goals to lead 3-2, only for said cheat Windass to “earn” Graeme Lee a red card and Bradford a goal from the resulting free kick. Bradford manager Colin Todd had a bit of a cry over the jovial jockeying administered by the incumbents of the Main Stand, and people were starting to notice that we still weren’t actually winning any games.

Still, we weren’t losing either. And Scunthorpe were next, and of course, we *always* beat Scunthorpe. Donblog, not one for exaggerated hyperbole, can quite literally say without fear of contradiction that Scunthorpe away was the worst performance by a collection of eleven individual men in the history of organised football. A 2-0 defeat was compounded by an indifferent reply from Sean O’Driscoll when questioned whether the fans were right to expect more from the team in one of the most important derby games of the season.

Wholly inappropriate responses to questions can actually be quite funny and endearing. “Aye. Fuck off Norway.” was Paul Gascoigne’s legendary offering when asked if he had a message for his fans in the Scandanavian outpost. We all laughed.

Ian Wright once famously roared “But if I do have to appear at the FA, I’ll have my say about David Pleat. He’s a pervert.”

However, O’Driscoll’s “Dunno. You’re from here, you tell me.” was full-stop just a twattish reply, wasn’t it?

September ended, and our new manager had basically re-written the book on making the worst possible impression on your new employers and their supporters. Luckily, there wasn’t much further for us to fall after this - Baz Richardson’s disgusting sock fetish - he gleefully referred to it as “cock-socks” remained thankfully out of the limelight - though Graeme Lee had a bit of a surprise following his arrival in the dressing room for his Dean Windass-induced early bath.

Part two IS HERE.

BETWEEN THE WHY’S AND HOW’S of Dave Penney’s departure and the who’s and when’s of his much-speculated replacement, the small matter of Rovers being powdered and preened and cossetted for their appearance under the harsh television lights of Sky Sports, was at hand as we rolled on into September.

Port Vale, the unofficial Hollywood of the Potteries was the scene. I saw Mickey Walker in a suit ! I forget if he looked like he was going to a funeral or a wedding - however, thrust as he was into the media glare by taking on the caretaker-manager role in Penney’s absence, I suppose he thought he’d better make the effort.

The match. Comedy provided by Michele di Piedi. The villian in the guise of penalty-squandering Lewis Guy. The hope seemingly lost, followed by the unlikely comeback from the dead. The dashing hero in Paul Heffernan. Fayre fit for any epic blockbuster as Heffs fired in two late late goals to give us a much needed 2-1 win and Mickey Walker a winning start.

Some people even thought “y’know, t’old Mickey might be able to make a go of this management lark” as the credits rolled, a sentiment that lasted precisely six days, long enough for us to suffer a frankly comtemptible 2-1 home reverse to a mid-tempo Gillingham side. Once again a needlessly conceded penalty from Steve Roberts was the precurser to the current incumbent of the managers seat at Rovers losing their job. Is this the reason why he has subsequently been unavailable for vast tracts of the season?

“Nearing full fitness eh Steve? Here, drink some of this uh, *milk* …”

I think I’m onto something there.

Part one IS HERE.

AND SO THOSE EXCITING TIMES would come to pass, but not for the actually-painfully-limited-Italian-striker type reasons that we expected. Because, frankly, di Piedi was as shite as everyone knew full well that he would be. The fans knew it, John Ryan knew it, you suspect Dave Penney knew it, and in all likelihood Michele di Piedi knew it as well. By the time he actually made his first start in Rovers colours, at Port Vale, he was so far out of his depth that he had in fact already drowned, only no-one had told his pathetically flailing limbs yet.

di Piedi’s gross ineptitude was in fact the least of the worries for Dave Penney. Apparently desperate to prove he was not stuck in the rut of being a predictable 4-4-2 man (particularly in view of the fact we had seen fit to not sign any proper left wingers since Michael McIndoe had parted ways with the Club), his Rovers side approached the next match, away to Swansea, with three starting centre-backs, supposedly allowing the “wingbacks” to bomb up and down and support the forward players. The actual result was a display of attacking alacracy akin to that of a recently exhumed corpse, and we were deservedly beaten by two late Lee Trundle goals. Bollocks.

By now, alarm bells were ringing around Belle Vue, and reasonably so. John Ryan was talking up what was by now a £3million wage bill, the inference of which was clear - things need to improve. The team apparently only knew how to play 4-4-2, but the only guy who can play there, Jon Forte, had already told the Manager that he doesn’t like playing there, and prefered the centre-forward position. Modern day footballers eh?

Rovers jinked unconvincingly past perennial basement dwellers Rochdale at Belle Vue that midweek by 3 goals to 2 to lift some of the gloom around the club, and then hosted Sean O’Driscoll’s AFC Bournemouth. A Lewis Guy opener was cancelled out by a James Hayter penalty in stoppage time at the end of the game, conceded inexplicably by Steve Roberts who leapt with arms above head to punch the ball away from danger. The draw had pretty much felt like a defeat to most of the poor gate of just over 5,000 in attendance. The Manager came out and said as much himself, though the vows to “cut out the personal mistakes” were now coming across as tired and forced.

John Ryan did what most chairmen do, when attendances are dwindling, when there is supporter unrest, when the team are underperforming badly, and Rovers supporters woke to the news on 30 August 2006, that Dave Penney had been relieved of his managerial duties at the club with immediate effect, after an unbroken seven year spell with the club.

Whether the right decision was made that day, whether Dave Penney could have adapted, rebuilt and prospered at the club or not, will remain forever unanswered. What was for sure, was that transfer deadline day was looming, the squad suddenly looked woefully underpowered, and we were a rudderless ship drifting towards the relegation zone. Summertime thoughts of promotion looked a million miles away now.

SO DONBLOG EMBARKS ON THE FIRST in an occassional series of reviews of the 2006/07 season - possibly the most unstable season of recent years. A move from our home of 80 years, the club record transfer fee broken twice, the most successful manager in recent years sacked, our first major cup final. Loads more besides!

It certainly made for a bit of a change from some of our previous seasons over the last decade or so which comprised of major landmarks such as Dean Williams getting a beef and onion pie in the mush during a match, and James Meara scoring an improbably spectacular goal before a disinterested gate of two and a half thousand against Torquay United.

Pre-season for 06/07 saw Rovers snare their targets early. James O’Connor was tricked into Belle Vue for a transfer record fee of £130,000. Bruce Dyer came in from Sheffield United, and Kevin Horlock from Ipswich on permanent deals. We signed some others as well, whose names escape me. Er, Lockwood for a start. We generally fared well in pre-season friendlies, including a 2-0 win over Middlesbrough punctuated by the comedy defensive stylings of Emanuel Pogatetz, and a 1-0 repellation of Real Sociedad - thus, parity was restored for the Anglo-Spanish war 1585 and Rovers could look to getting a positive start for promotion at Carlisle.

Not only did Rovers not read the script, they proceded to show up drunk and unshaven (figuratively speaking of course) and blunder off some alternate, useless script from the top of their heads in a pathetic attempt to please the assembled throngs. 1-0 down with the first goal in League football for that season, followed by a huff and puff performance of never looking particularly likely to get back into things left us all feeling distinctly unamused with matters, thank you very much.

Still, plenty of teams get promoted on the back of an opening day defeat eh? Probably. It only took ’til Tuesday for us to be back up and motoring after coming from behind to beat Crewe. It wouldn’t be that last time we would be seeing that particular scenario. Kevin Horlock and Bruce Dyer were amongst the goalscorers in a 3-1 victory, thereby demonstrating that they were both going to be major players for the season ahead … what?

The match following this, against Tranmere at Belle Vue, much like a traumatic childhood memory, has been supressed into a void of blankness and silence, due to the abject tedium it entailed I suppose. We drew 0-0, it must have been a diabolical game, as I usually remember *some* incident or other no matter how turgid the 90 minutes was. Not this one. If anyone does remember *anything* about it, post a comment below. I bet you don’t.

The will he/won’t he debacle over Ricky Ravenhill’s proposed transfer to Chester City finally meandered towards it’s conclusion, some seventeen years after the tenative first offer was faxed across the Welsh border and into the Belle Vue offices. Rovers buried this bad news and that of an injury to Kevin Horlock (only a couple of weeks they said) with a blockbusting announcement:

Italian striker and well known lothario Michele di Piedi had signed on a 6 month contract! The official website eulogized a bit too long and a bit too hard on the signing, largely based on some mildly decent goal he popped home for Sheffield Wednesday in 1994 or something, but we knew for sure with this capture that exciting times were ahead!